Grateful Mean

Stuff that matters

When it comes to marriage and running a household, it can be difficult to make sure all the jobs are equally distributed and normally one person ends up baring the brunt of the workload.

This is the situation one couple claim to have found themselves in and it’s causing some problems.

An anonymous man has taken to Reddit’s Am I The A**hole forum to share his story and ask for some perspective on the situation.

In his post, he explains that he works from home and currently does most of the housework.

He says his wife worked at her family’s restaurant when she was younger and as a result now refuses to do anything involving the kitchen or bathroom.

“All of that falls on me, as well as dishes, laundry, pet care, yard care, car care, organizing, all of that fun stuff,” the husband writes.

“Most nights my wife comes home and gets to relax or go to her choir practice or her friend’s houses. All she really does around the house is clean out the fridge once a week, tidy her craft room, put away her clean laundry and split walking the puppies with me.

“I get pretty tired and get maybe one day a week to just veg. Lately though, on weekends my wife is wanting to do big projects around the house. That means me doing all the heavy lifting AND doing whatever menial daily tasks there are.

“I’ve mentioned the burnout before but we haven’t really made progress there yet.”

He goes on to say that they are going on holiday soon and he’s driving long distance as she doesn’t like to do that.

As such he was hoping to rest over the weekend before they have to pack and prep everything for the trip.

However, his wife had other plans.

“Low and behold Saturday rolls around and she wants to organise all our closets and the attic. I told her no but she insisted on it,” he says.

Too tired, the man decided to call up a friend who has previously expressed interest in doing some odd jobs to earn extra cash.

“My wife was p***ed and sent our friends home, I still paid them, but I really don’t think I was in the wrong,” he added.

“My wife thinks otherwise and says that stuff like that is our responsibility and I shouldn’t try pawning it off on others. AITA?”

Hundreds of people responded to the Reddit post, with many agreeing he was not in the wrong.

One said: “You set down a boundary and that you wanted to relax. She doesn’t take into consideration all the things you do around the house!”

Another replied: “She doesn’t sound like a co-equal partner in the house chores, so why is she dictating the tempo or the rules? She cleans her room, but not the shared spaces. She puts away her laundry? Does she leave yours? It honestly sounds like she has the responsibilities I’d give a child living in the house, rather than an adult.

“I’m not surprised you’re feeling burnout; you need support and space. If you can’t get that from her, then she’s not a partner, she’s a burden.”

A third wrote: “It’s time to sit down and split basic household chores and arrange for a maid service to come on a weekly or biweekly basis.”